top of page
  • Twitter
  • Facebook

Parking Garage Amnesia

amywhitewriting

This morning, I went to a doctor's appointment at the Naval Medical Center in Portsmouth, Virginia. By my rough calculations, I have been there at least 150 times over the past three years—maybe more. I am very familiar with every nook and cranny of the place. I know where the best bathrooms are located. I can find the Starbucks with my eyes closed. I can give directions to the pharmacy and every specialty clinic housed there (I think I've been to almost all of them). I even have an odd camaraderie with the technicians who draw blood at the lab because I'm there so often. However, when it comes to navigating the parking garage—I am apparently an idiot, incapable of figuring out its layout. No matter how many times I park there, I have trouble finding my car when I'm ready to leave.


If I'm being truthful, I have to admit I suffer from this affliction in almost all parking garages and large lots. The moment I enter one, my ability to remember anything vanishes like a puff of smoke in the wind. Is parking lot amnesia a real thing? Are others out there suffering from this ailment or am I the only person out there playing Marco Polo with their vehicle? Is anyone else extending their arm above their head, pressing the lock button on their key every time they take a step, and hoping with everything in their being that their car is close enough to respond with a "Honk?"


I am an educated woman who most people regard as fairly intelligent. I'm not a member of Mensa or a champion chess player, but I can usually get at least ten Jeopardy answers right on any given episode (Jeopardy Masters excluded—those clues are especially difficult). I am an excellent puzzle solver and I love the thrill of completing a 1,000-piece puzzle or figuring out New York Times games like Wordle or Connections. However, the up and down ramps of a parking garage completely baffle me. They seem so logical on the way in—but on the way out, all rhyme or reason disappears. Row A looks just like Row B. Row B looks just like Row C, and so on.


I have to admit I often set myself up for failure. If I am talking on the phone (hands-free, of course) when I whip into a space, there is only a slim chance I will remember where I parked because I am usually so engrossed in my conversation that I forget to take note of directional signage. If I continue the convo on my phone when I get out, the likelihood of remembering where I parked goes down even further. That's on me. I take full responsibility. It doesn't make it any less frustrating when I am endlessly roaming around looking for my car later, but at least I know I have myself to blame.


However, today I wasn't distracted. My phone was safely stowed in my purse when I exited my vehicle. I was fully alert. I consciously located the sign marking my row that said "Row E, Level 2." I even read it out loud to help me remember. I observed a VW beetle with flowers on it parked a few spaces down. It was memorable. It was cute. I was not going to get lost today. I confidently left the garage and entered Building Two of the medical center via the pedestrian bridge.


An hour later, I exited Building Three (which is connected to Building Two) into the same garage, just on the other side. I boldly charged down to Row E on Level 2. Did I find my car? Did I see the cute VW Bug? No. They weren't there. I was dumbfounded. I had done everything in my power to avoid this situation. Parking Lot Amnesia struck again! Feelings of frustration, inadequacy, and stupidity overtook me. Why do parking garages cause a mental block in my brain? I know what row I parked in, but somehow, my car wasn't where I left it. For a fleeting moment, I considered the possibility that someone stole my car - my ordinary, Average Joe vehicle with a few dings and knicks—on a heavily guarded Navy base.


I had no choice but to begrudgingly pull out my key and start a game of Honk and Seek. I was thankful I was wearing comfortable shoes as I wandered for what felt like miles. Up and down, back and forth. (On an unrelated note, Memory Foam is one of this century's greatest inventions as far as I'm concerned.) I followed the sound of my 2020 Dodge Journey who was calling out to me, from its hiding place in the garage. When I finally found my vehicle—but was unable to access it because it was on the other side of a metal divider—I had the realization for the first time that Row E, Level 2 is also Row E, Level 1. Because of the slope of the row, it matters what side of the garage you start on! The sign on one end of the row is different than the sign on the other end! This moment of clarity was like a light shining down from Heaven revealing the secret law of the parking garage to me.


There was no way for me to get where I needed to go by just walking up and down ramps. I needed to cross back to the side I entered, go up one flight of stairs, and then re-enter the garage. I put my key in my pocket and marched on triumphantly. I was now headed to the correct Row E, Level 2 and was leaving the wrong Row E, Level 2 in my dust. Was my Parking Lot Amnesia cured by my new understanding?


Of course, we are about to move out of Virginia and today was my last appointment at the Naval Medical Center of Portsmouth. I will never need to park in that garage again. My victory came one visit too late.


I left the medical center and headed to Walmart. When I came out, I couldn't remember what row I parked in. I had been rocking out to Crocodile Rock by Elton John when I pulled in and was so busy singing that I forgot to notice what row I was in. My amnesia was back and I was back to honking my horn endlessly from afar.


I am determined to try to do better from here on though. I have had more than my share of meltdowns in parking lots or garages at stadiums, airports, hospitals, and shopping malls. Gosh darn it, I am a smart woman. If I can solve Wordle in three guesses, I am capable of curing my parking lot amnesia. Please just don't call me when I'm parking!


Let me know if you also have Parking Lot Amnesia in the comments below!




26 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Driving Solo

Happy belated holidays and Happy New Year to everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season like I did, surrounded by the things...

Let's Talk Turkey

I was going to devote an entire blog to the question, “Why is there always an empty toilet paper roll that needs to be changed in every...

Self-Checkout Shenanigans

Do bizarre and unlikely things ever happen to you? They seem to happen to me all the time. So much so, that people constantly say things...

Kommentare


© 2024 by A. White. Powered and secured by Wix

bottom of page